I would give you a nice little introduction here but if you’re going through a hard time, ain’t nobody got time for my introduction. Let’s just talk about how to get through it, shall we?
1. Girl, you have been through hell before. And survived.
This might sound like the worst advice ever but we're going to roll with it: When you're going through hard times, like truly how-am-I-ever-going-to-get-through-this hard times, I want you to literally list all the hard times you've been through before. Sounds like a fun shit show. But, it works. It works because, if you have the brain capacity to be listing said miserable time, then you, my friend, survived that hell.
Deciding not to get married, breaking up with my high school sweetheart, and effectively pressing the restart button on my entire life. I was twenty.
I hated waking up in the morning. The nights were fine- at least I could sleep!- but waking up in the morning knowing I would have to go another day without the person I had spent the last five years with made me sick. And then realizing I had just completely obliterated every plan I had made for my life… Well, that was simply terrifying.
I dropped out of school. Okay, I’m being dramatic, I did not do that. But, I did take a quarter off because I was in such a hell hole I knew that attending class- especially morning classes- yeah that would be a big fat not happening. I also was ahead in units, so really it was a luxury to be able to do that. (*Read side note below for entertainment.)
I went to therapy weekly. That shiz was expensive, so I worked like 12 jobs during my quarter off to keep me busy and to pay for therapy. (Insurance eventually reimbursed me, hollaaaa.)
I was a miserable friend. I needed my friends so badly, so so badly. And I had nothing to give them. I was an empty wreck. I would call at 4 am, show up unexpectedly in tears, zone out during conversations, or be a total party pooper during social events. I WAS THE WORST, God I hate remembering that. But they stuck with me. And then when times came- as they do for everybody- when they had nothing to give me, I knew it was my time to step up to the plate and return the favor of carrying them through the hard times.
But, I survived! I survived the horribleness! And I realized:
If I can get through that, I can get through anything.
Pshhh and not only did I get through that, I didn’t start completely rocking at life until after that hell.
2. God works everything for good.
I'm going to keep this second point short since I really got into telling you about my personal hell there for a second. I could list Bible verses here. But, if you’re truly going through a horrible hard time, you’ve already done that (if the Bible is something that you find comfort in). So, let's go back to thinking about our personal hell we've been through before. Let's think about all the ways God has worked that situation for good. Mine is so easy.
Because I didn't get married:
-I traveled the world.-I didn't have kids in college.-I discovered my passion.-I had a vraiment college experience that I couldn't have had in a serious relationship.-I got a lot of freaking work experience.-He met someone else, fell in love, got married and had a baby. (Had to throw that in there to show that God works everything for good for everybody!)-I met someone else and fell in love.
Thank GOD for that hell hole. Thank God that I kept pushing through even when it hurt (which was most of the time) or when I was scared because I felt nothing (which was the rest of the time). Because I can't even imagine being the person that my life path was shaping me to be at the time- she sounds boring, inauthentic, and uninspired. I can't even think about the people I wouldn't have met, the places I would not have seen, the life I wouldn't have had. I'm so so lucky and proud and blessed (and a bunch of other overused, trite words) to have gone through what I did to be the person I am today.
I love the person I am and I wouldn't be who I am without going through hell and knowing God can turn my hell into a part of His plan.
1. All the times you've been through hell before have strengthened you to deal with anything you're going through now, or may go through in the future. 2. You survived. 3. You're stronger than you know. 4. God is in control, He loves you, and everything He does is for good. Romans 8:28 (because I couldn't resist a Bible verse). 5. God's plan is cooler than your plan. Ephesians 3:20 (because I couldn't resist another one). 6. Rodney Atkins has like already written a song about this. Country music is always one step ahead of me.
Tons of love, Asia
*side note: My grandma sent me care packages every single month when I was in college. When I took that quarter off, she was so pissed off at me because she thought I was dropping out and wouldn’t go back, she stopped sending me those vital-for-my-life packages. When I texted her and told her “Grandma I signed up for classes for next quarter today!”, she responded with “Box is on the way!”. That woman.