Things That Have Changed At My Age
Things that have changed at my age… Oh f did that title make it sound like I was gonna tell you what “Gravity has done to my body” or something that old people say? I don’t have too many parts that gravity can take over, but like I guess I will learn about that when I’m in my 40s? I’m not that old guys, relax. I mean I’m close but not THAT close.
I am though old enough to realize that shit is changing around here. It’s not my birthday anymore (just a few days ago!), and usually these types of posts are reserved for birthday posts but GUESS WHAT I have learned that I give zero effs about any kind of rules, and almost nobody else does either and we’re all just following them because.. literally I don’t know. Maybe I will figure that out during my 28th year, keep you posted.
I’m writing this “Things that have changed at my age” post because like GOODNESS GRACIOUSNESS the last week I have just removed my spectacles of busy-ness and taken a step back to look at my life. I’m subscribing to REAL SIMPLE MAGAZINE. LIKE A FREAKING ADULT. You wanna know the cover that got me to subscribe? The one with folded laundry on it. LIke not a picture of Selena Gomez but LAUNDRY. Crisp and clean and like VERY SATISFYING. I was like SUBSCRIBE ME TO THAT SHIT AND NOW. I WANT ALL THE FOLDED LAUNDRY. GIMME DAT. And I pulled out the little postcard paper thing from ONE OF THE TWO COPIES I bought of the magazine because yeah I BOUGHT THE MAGAZINE TWICE because I forgot I had bought it the first time and apparently reALLY WANTED TO KNOW how to “Get It Done!” like the cover says. HElp me Real Simple help me.
I’m still reading Cosmo tho nobody worry. Still cool. Still youthful. Or whatever.
Other things that have changed:
I’m starting to consider Botox, I’m getting LASIK in September (good bye contacts!), and I’m like alright Asia if you want a boob job it’s pretty much now or never.
My friends are getting engaged and it’s not weird. It’s like pretty normal and awesome and I’m so proud of my friends for their choices in husbands.
I have legitimately forgotten some of my friends’ maiden names. Some of my friends I NEVER EVEN KNEW THEIR MAIDEN NAME. WHO EVEN ARE YOU PEOPLE.
I started investing in COMFORTABLE shoes. Or at least attempting to invest in comfortable shoes- are there any comfortable + cute shoes? I’ve found 2 pair. During my thirty eight hours and counting hours of scouring the world wide web and the few shoe stores that exist in SLO. El Naturalista brand so far is really doin it for me. ALso Skechers, which is what I wear when I travel, which is why none of y’all ever see my feet in snaps/photos when I travel. Ever.
My pores ARE EFFING HUGE.
I take fish oil and probiotics and prenatal vitamins like every day. Because I’m like IF I DON’T TAKE CARE OF ME WHO WILL.
I cried the entire length of a plane ride about the fact that my perfect nephew Beau is not a baby anymore, that I don’t know if he will want to let me cuddle him til he falls asleep, that we will literally NEVER get back the days where he used to just lay on my chest for hours at a time (mostly because he couldn’t walk yet and had no other choice). This isn’t a “Darnit, I should’ve gone to Greece when I lived in France I was so close! Now it’s going to be so much more expensive to fly from California, I really regret that choice, should have taken advantage of it while I had the chance!” No. It’s not like it will be more expensive/more inconvenient/harder. It’s like. THere is no more chance to cuddle him more, see him more, kiss him more. Literally that time of life will NEVER happen again. Did I mention I actually CRIEDD about this, bawled about it really, snot dripping down my face and everything, while I watched videos of Beau on full volume in a plane full of people who 100% thought Beau probably DIED and only put up with videos of Beau saying “WHere we gonna go? Starbucks!” and “Hi Uncle Beard!” And “Do you want to wrastle?” because they thought that I was a mourning aunt. Well, I kind of was, and Im so so happy that I get to see Beau THIS WEEK, I wish I could see him every day all the time and maybe then he’d never grow up. Like you know how they say A watched pot never boils? Maybe a watched nephew never grows, but I don’t think it works that way :(
I realize that I actually give great advice and have, like, a shit ton of wisdom to share. Roles have changed from me always being the one to ask for advice, soak it up, seek mentors-- I’ve gotten to the point/age/height (haha jk jk) where people actually look up to meeee. And, like, I’m not bad at it. I’m a great effing role model. So far, that’s my favorite part of getting older, 100%.
That and that my house is SO MUCH NICER My God. My 25 year old self is SO JEALOUS of my 28 year old self’s place. So jealous.
OR maybe airport lounges. Maybe that’s my favorite part of getting older. It’s a toss up really.
I have a washing machine in my house. With a dryer, like right next to it. They live in their very own room. It’s called “The Laundry Room”. Still haven’t figured out what happens in there, but at least I still have surprises left in life!
I stopped deleting blurry photos because I’m like dude if this was the only photo I had of this person and I deleted it and thEY DIED I WOULD BE SO HEARTBROKEN. I’ve only had one very close person to me die in my adult life, and if I had a blurry photo of him and I together I Would have that blown up the size of Texas and framed on my wall forever. I care less about perfect photos than I do about people. So I delete none. And I also got the biggest size iPhone memory because I’m an adult and running out of space SUPER pisses me off.
My high school ten year reunion is in a few weeks. I thought I’d be hella old with hella babies and not saying hella by the time my ten year came around. Nope. Here we are, still hella young with no babies still saying hella. That may never change.
TMI: I calculated the other day how many times I have had my period in my life and decided ya know what enough’s enough. When can I sign up for menopause.
I just went to Europe for the first time since I lived there 5 years ago and I stayed in zero hostels. If that doesn’t tell you I’m an adult I don’t know what does.
I cannot get enough of the BIble. Joyce Meyer devotionals are my jam. Family life radio? Literally my jam.
Even with my very closest of friends, I have to make plans like over a month in advance to do something more substantial than coffee. Like “Wanna do dinner in September?” & it’s July. All my friends and I now share a travel calendar because like why do adults leave town so much?
At some point I’m like WOAH what if we don’t have kids?! *gasps*
I have learned some discipline. I went keto for 6 weeks (Google it) and cut out sugar and carbs and just like, also practically conquered the world. I honestly couldn’t tell you the last time I’ve been that proud of myself (not in a weird pathetic way just like THIS WAS A REALLY BIG DEAL). Discipline is not my strong suit, and getting older I think I’ve really tried to hone in on things I want to improve about myself- and then you know, like, improve them.
I figured out how to display my Starbucks mug collection, because I legitimately have like 40 of them. And it looks super good! That may literally be my proudest adult moment pretttyyyy sure.
We bought an espresso machine. Like to make coffee at home. ANd like. I use it. Every day. And I like it. Tell no one.
Other things I have purchased:
My first real bathing suit. That shit was not cheap. I look super amazing in it.
Swimsuit cleaner for said suit?
A reverse osmosis water purifying system? Or something?
A real dresser. Like not from Ikea. Although I did buy 3 Ikea dressers for the guest bedroom to make up for it. Wait, eff, why do guests need 3 dressers?...
Laundry detergent PODS because like the liquid stuff gets everywhere, the damn jug is heavy, hurts my wrist and you know what SINCE I GUESS I HAVE TO DO LAUNDRY NOW I’m not putting up with that shit.
Downy wrinkle releaser. The only reason I remember that is because it’s in an unopened box right in front of me, so I didn’t say I used it, and I’m not at the age where I start ironing, so here we are at the “At least BUYING wrinkle releaser” age. I wonder if I will ever use it?
Oh, John bought me a ring ;) Maybe that’s my favorite part of getting older. Yeah. The ring, for sure :p
I’M GONNA CHANGE MY NAME. Only adults are allowed to do that.
I’m finishing writing this blog post at 6:15 am and I’ve already been awake for an hour folding LAUNDRY, reading the Bible, doing a touch of work, because I went to sleep at 7 last night because I’m an adult and can do what I want. Also because I am jet lagged but that’s not the point.
I am still so very much so myself, just.. Better. At everything. So I guess that's what's changed. I feel so much better at my age than I thought- I thought 28 sounded SO OLD. Now Im like DAMNNN Im so freaking young I have my whole life ahead of me! And look how much I’ve already done! So for those of you who fear getting old, fear not, because when you are actually old, you won’t be scared. You will be PUMPED.
