You know what’s funny? I’m writing this during an odd time of the day where I’m not feeling very confident. It’s 6:45 pm, I told myself I would get about 60 things done that I haven’t done for for the new website + magazine and I am thinking to myself “Can I even really do this? Did I bite off more than I can chew, per usual? Why do I always do this to myself?”
Thankfully, I outlined this blog post out in my head this weekend (all you can do is think when you’re on a motorcycle for 16 hours…), and planned to write it today so, really, this post is maybe more for me than it is for you. But, my friend, there will be days, weeks, or even just hours where you do not feel on top of your game.
Where you feel like you aren’t cut out for the life you want, where you feel you lack the discipline, the skills, the personality, the anything to be who you wanna be.
It’s complete BS.
And when I have hours like these (to be honest, my low confidence moments don’t last long), I have these 4 things to fall back on to remind me I can freaking do this.
1. I rely on my faith.
First thing’s first (I’m the realest). Without being 100% confident that God has gone before me and prepared the way, I have just like no clue how I would even get up in the morning. When things are going wrong, I instantly think to myself “Okay, this is God taking the reigns and steering me elsewhere.” I know that God has made me in His image, and I truly truly I can’t express how truly I believe that He has put me on earth to do what I’m doing- to invest in the relationships I have, to grow my business and love others through it. On days where I feel like laying in bed and doing nothing, God nudges me and is like “Aye yo girl, I did not push you to move back to SLO, quit your job, and risk financial security for you to lay in your freaking bed. Get up and love people.” God has made me, and YOU, for a purpose, and it is not to sit around and feel lame.
Here are a million verses to drive this point home:
Philippians 1:6 For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. Hebrews 4:16 For the LORD will be your confidence, And will keep your foot from being caught. Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight. Romans 8:28 And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. Joshua 1:9 "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go."Isaiah 41:10 'Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.' 1 John 5:14 This is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. 1 Corinthians 15:58 Be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your toil is not in vain in the Lord.Psalms 55:22 Cast your burden upon the LORD and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken. Psalms 34:19 Many are the afflictions of the righteous, But the LORD delivers him out of them all.
2. I rely on my people.
This answer is two fold.
You are who you are surrounded with.
When I look around and see the people I surround myself with, I am like JACK POT. I am these people? THAT IS THE NICEST THING ANYONE HAS EVER SAID TO ME. I am driven, passionate, motivated, beautiful, witty, intelligent, respectable. I AM SO COOL. And to think that these people choose to surround themselves with me? It’s a freaking honor. And to top it off...
My people believe in me.
I have never met more encouraging, uplifting, supportive, and honest people. (The people who are not those things kind of just fall out of my life.) Not ony do I feel confident in my capabilities because I feel I am amongst great company, but these people continuously remind me of my potential and my greatness. Just a few minutes ago, Mallory texted me and said “You can do this! You’re Asia!” and I’m like YEAH I AM. I can do this! Thanks, Mallory. Every evening, John tells me he’s proud of me. Like seriously. Sometimes I’m like I know, I know you’re so proud of me. But, really, without those encouragements, this would be a freaking lot harder.
Not to mention, you guys. Your comments and your messages, man. You don’t know how many times I’ve gotten a random email like “Hey! This is kind of weird but I’ve been reading your blog for a long time & I just wanted to tell you I love everything you’re doing.” And I’m like OMG. GOD WANTS ME DOING THIS FOREVER I JUST KNOW IT. I AM HELPING PEOPLE'S LIVES! It feels incredible.
If you ever feel this way about somebody, tell them. You don’t know how much that means to read those messages.
3. I rely on myself.
We all know by now, thanks to Oprah, that gratitude is like practice numero uno we need to be making time for in our life. My daily planner even has a section specifically for it every single day. I love writing down “John’s mom” or “Paige helping me with my website” or “The Spark Lounge”, but sometimes I’m like YOU KNOW WHAT? I’m grateful for myself. I’m grateful that I type fast, I’m grateful I can take fabulous photos, I’m grateful that I invested in myself and that I made the decisions I did to get here. Thank you so very much for doing that, past self. It’s motivating to realize you can’t let your past self down. Your past self has dreams and plans for you. Be grateful for the belief you had in yourself to set in motion the amazing things you are doing right now. YOU CAN DO IT.
4. I rely on my photography.
Last but not freaking least.
I love my business.
The business I’ve made and the skills I’ve honed have given me a permanent confidence I never thought possible. I’ve always been good at things, but never like really good at one thing. I’m not saying I’m the best photographer around, by any means, but I am confident in my skill and proud of my work, and constantly learning and improving and impressing myself with how I’ve grown. Sometimes, when I’m like I CAN'T DO ANYTHING! I’m like, well at least I take a great photo. PHEW. Got that going for me.
I don’t know how to say this.
I like the way I look. Is that acceptable? I’ve also practiced for years on posing and lighting and researched the best ways to dress for my body type.. so after that, yeah, I like the way I look in photos. #unashamed. Watching myself grow through all the photos I have taken of myself over the years is confidence building. It tells me that I am not an old haggard old lady, that I look great at 25, that I have been and done (and worn!) really cool things. That I have done a good thing in the decisions I have made for my body. That I am happy- you can fake smile in a photo, but you can’t fake the happiness that I see in so many of my pictures. That I have AMAZING friends who let me fiddle with the settings til I get it just right and make them take a million photos of me. Thanks guys. I truly believe that photos are a confidence booster, and I’m not just trying to sell that to anyone, I buy that ideal myself. 100%. It’s an investment in myself that I rely on constantly. Like these pics? I love them. I look great in that little leopard dress. Go me.
I also gave away that dress at my Clothing Swap because like I already wore it out on a date with John and I’ve taken about 30 million photos in it now so.. that's when you know. It's ready to move on.
- Self confidence is not natural, it's intentional.
- Those who you surround yourself with giveth or taketh away. There is no neutral, know this & choose your friends wisely. (I did. Go me.)
- There is no shame in being grateful for yourself.
- God put you on this earth to do beautiful things. Trust me.